


Don't Give Up Now

by originalhybridlover



Category: Sen Çal Kapımı (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual HEA, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forgiveness, Love, Reunion, Romance, Second Chances, Terminal Illness, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28140249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originalhybridlover/pseuds/originalhybridlover
Summary: Two years ago, Eda left after learning the truth of her parents’ death. Never reconciling with Serkan. So why now was he in Italy seeking her out. Something isn’t right. It feels wrong. Serkan wanted to spend his last months in this life with Eda. He was sick and didn’t have much time left, and he wanted his last memories to be of her. It didn’t matter if she hated him even more than the first time they met or if she wanted him dead. He needed her. When Eda learns what he is hiding, her heart breaks in a way she didn’t know was possible.Can she convince him to save himself before she loses him forever?
Relationships: Serkan Bolat/Eda Yildiz
Comments: 32
Kudos: 80





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story that brother requested I write and I thought I share it with my Edser Readers as well.

Tears streamed down Eda’s cheeks, her expression one of betrayal. 

“How could you do this to me?!” Eda demanded. 

“Eda,” Serkan reached out his hand to her. 

“No,” Eda shook him off. “How could you keep this from me?! After everything we have been through how could you not tell me!? Didn’t you think I deserved to know!?” 

“I wanted to protect you,” Serkan said. 

“Protect me? Serkan you are dying and you cannot protect me from that!” Her voice was filled with agony. “What’s worse is you made me fall in love with you again, knowing you were going to leave me!”

“I was selfish,” Serkan admitted. “I wanted to spend what time I had left with you but I did not want to taint it with Death, it didn’t want a dark cloud hanging over us all the time. I didn’t want you to worry.” 

“Worry?!” Eda threw her arms out in frustration. “I am not worried Serkan. I am fucking terrified!”

She placed a hand to her chest as a sob racked her body. “You’re going to leave me and there is nothing I can do to stop it.”

“I wouldn’t leave you like this if I had a choice,” he stepped, forward cupping her face, and wiped her tears away. 

Eda grabbed his hand, holding on tightly. “You do have a choice and you’re not choosing me. You’re not even trying to fight this. Why won’t you try to beat this?”

“It’s a losing battle. There’s no point. It’s too late. It’s too advanced. The world is against me. I will die in three months.” Serkan said. He had already come to terms with his limited time. All he could do was live his life until it was gone. 

“Don’t!” Eda said. “Don’t you dare say that to me, Serkan! You cannot die, you can’t.” Eda could barely get the words out. Her grief was so strong. She could not breathe. 

Serkan pulled her into her arms, ignoring her protests. Eda pushed at his chest, but Serkan held her tighter. “It’s okay, Eda. It’s going to be okay,” tears gathered in his eyes seeing her pain. 

“No, it won’t,” Eda stopped trying to push him away and instead held onto him as tight as she could. She could not let him go. Everything was screaming inside of her to not let him leave. “Nothing will be okay without you.”

“It will,” Serkan ran his hands soothingly through her hair. “It will be alright. You’re going to move on with your life, and I will be nothing more than a distant memory of the past.”

“You're wrong,” Eda pulled back and looked at him pleading. “If you won’t fight to stay alive for yourself or for me then do it for your child I carry.”

“What?” Serkan stared at her in disbelief.

“I’m pregnant, and I do not want our child to grow up without its father.” she cupped his face tenderly. “Please, don’t make me do this alone.” 

Serkan nodded, his heart pounding in his chest. “Okay,” He kissed her forehead and held her to him. “Okay.” 

It was hard enough knowing he was leaving everyone behind, especially Eda but he couldn’t bear the thought of never laying eyes on his child, never holding them in his arms. He wanted to be a good father, the kind of father his own was not to him. 

“I will fight.” He promised. 

Eda let out a relieved sob, and cupped his face, pressing her lips to his in a tearful kiss. 

She would make damn sure he gave himself the best chance. 


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's chapter is mainly Serkan-Centric. 
> 
> I apologize for medical inaccuracies. I suck at research.

Eda stepped out onto the terrace, she wore a floor-length purple gown, her hair was curled and swept over one shoulder. She was at a charity gala that Efe’s company was having to support scholarships and education for young women in today’s world. 

After finding out that Serkan had kept so vital of a secret from her, Eda could no longer trust him and left for Italy. She finished her school work. Efe came to her graduation. They celebrated with dinner and caught up with one another. 

At the end of the night, Efe offered her a job with his architect firm and Eda gladly accepted. She did not want to return to Turkey. She didn’t think she could handle being close to Serkan or run the risk of seeing him or working with him because they would be in the same field. 

Eda started to build a life for herself in Italy far away from the heartbreak and betrayal she experienced. While she missed her aunt and the girls her new life was good. 

She loved her job, she loved Italy. She was excited about where her life was heading, the only dark cloud was whenever she thought of Serkan. 

She hated to admit that she thought of him often. Too often. 

She looked up at the night sky, eyes shining brightly. The stars were out and they never failed to make her think of Serkan. 

Her smile faded, she crossed her arms over herself. 

She resented that she sometimes wondered how Serkan was doing. Had he moved on with his life? Was he happy now? Did he ever think of her? Did he miss her?

“Eda!” 

Eda turned to see Efe waving her over, he was surrounded by a group of people. 

She forced a smile, putting her thoughts of the past and Serkan behind her, and rejoined the party. 

* * *

Serkan rubbed a hand down his face, once again he stayed late at the office. Working himself to the point of exhaustion. He was so tired, his body ached and he felt like he barely had the energy to leave his office and go home. 

He contemplated just crashing on the sofa but his body already hurt. He didn’t want to deal with more aches and pains. 

He should have seen his doctor about the headaches he been experiencing but he couldn’t. Maybe it was his way of punishing himself. 

He knew on some level that there was something wrong with him but maybe the pain, the suffering he was experiencing was his way of seeking penance for ruining everything he touched. 

For breaking the one woman he ever loved. 

Serkan pushed up from his chair, he grabbed his jacket from the back of it, slipping it back on, and headed out.

He started down the stairs, stopping when he felt dizzy, and reached for the banister but missed and went sideways. 

It happened at once, he lost control of his balance and toppled forward, falling down the stairs his leg twisted, he landed on his hand and his head slammed against the unforgiving floor. 

He heard a scream and a flash of red hair, running toward him before everything went black. 

When Serkan awoke again, the lights were bright, white walls surrounded him, there was the strong smell of disinfectant cleaners. 

He jerked back as the light was shined in his eyes. 

“Mr. Bolat, do you know where you are?” 

His eyes shot to the voice. A doctor stood over him, shining a light in his eye, looking concerned. 

“The hospital,” he answered. “How did I get here? The last thing I remember was being at the office.” 

“You had a fall, lucky for you, your co-worker was working late as well. She called an ambulance and you were brought here.”

Serkan opened his mouth to ask who when suddenly his stomach churned violently, bile rose up, he lurched forward and the doctor barely avoided being covered in projectile vomit. 

Serkan coughed and sputtered wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, face scrunching in disgust. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be, I’ll have the nurse get you some water to rinse your mouth out with. It’s very likely you have a concussion but I want to rule out anything serious so I am going to have you sent up for a few tests.” 

“Why? I’m fine.” Serkan protested. 

“Mr. Bolat when you fell, you didn’t just twist your ankle or land on your wrist, you smacked your head. Head injuries are dangerous and should always be taken seriously. We will run a test and if all looks well we will send you on your way. For now just rest, a nurse will be with you in a minute.” 

Serkan opened his mouth to argue that he did not need any unnecessary tests. He just wanted to leave and be left alone but his head was throbbing beyond belief. The words died on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he shut his eyes against the pain. 

When he opened them again the doctor was gone. He sighed irritably and leaned his head back against the propped up hospital pillow behind him. 

It was almost two hours later before the doctor's personnel staff were all done with his test. Piril had been in and out of the room. She had been the one to call the ambulance. Out of respect to Serkan, she had called no one and told them what happened but refused to leave Serkan alone.

Serkan was annoyed but he knew she did it because she cared and Piril like himself did not show her emotions well. 

Piril stepped out of the room when the doctor returned, giving Serkan the privacy to talk to the doctors alone. 

“Mr. Bolat, your test came back and the good news is that you only have a mild concussion, nothing to be concerned about, unfortunately. It’s the only good news I have for you.” 

“What are you talking about?” Serkan asked, wondering what else could be wrong. He was fine. He was always fine. 

“Our scans show you have a tumor. The tumor appears to be rather large and is pressing down on your occipital lobe. Tell me, Mr. Bolat. Have you been experiencing headaches, nose bleeds, nausea, seizures, blurred vision, loss of consciousness, balance, confusion…” 

Serkan’s vision narrowed down, and the doctor’s voice suddenly felt like it was traveling down a tunnel. 

A brain tumor. He had a tumor. How was this possible? 

“It’s important that you understand your diagnosis and start treatment immediately. Depending on the type of tumor and the placement, it could be very aggressive and dangerous.”

“I want to leave,” Serkan said abruptly as a coldness swept over him. 

“I will have your release papers drawn up along with everything you need to know about your condition. I will set an appointment up for you with the head of our neurologist and oncology departments. I will have everything fax over to your primary doctor. I promise you will get the best care we have to offer.” 

Serkan said nothing and when the doctor realized he wasn’t going to, he stepped out of the room. 

20 minutes later Serkan was in the passenger seat of Piril’s car and she was driving him home. 

“Is everything okay, Serkan?” Piril asked when she pulled up outside his place. “You haven’t spoken since we left the hospital. Was the news bad?” 

Serkan looked at Piril, he hadn’t yet fully come to terms with what his doctor had told him and he decided now was not the time to discuss it until he fully understood what his condition was. 

“I’ll be okay,” He said. He held tightly to the papers the doctor had given him, keeping them out of Piril’s view. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you, Piril. Good night.” 

“Good night, Serkan.” Piril nodded, out of concern she waited till he was inside before driving away, hoping everything was okay. 

Serkan was greeted by Sirius who whined at his feet until Serkan sat down and the dog could settle its head on Serkan’s knee. 

Serkan smiled a barely-there smile, rubbing the top of Sirius' head, and scratching behind his ears and the back of his neck. After a moment, Serkan turned his attention to the papers the doctor had given him, detailing his prognosis, symptoms, and treatments and the stages, and what to expect. 

Serkan was feeling lost by the time he was done reading, he twirled the ring on his finger. Eda’s ring. 

Eda. 

He missed her and he needed her desperately more than ever. 

He pushed off the couch, deciding to turn in for the night, he had work tomorrow and then his doctor appointments in the afternoon. For now, he would keep his condition to himself until he learned from the neurologist what can be done to stop the tumor in its tracks. 

He was at work the next morning before anyone else even got to the office. He couldn’t sleep the night before and thought he would be more productive at his office working than at home doing nothing. 

Piril said nothing about his accident and he appreciated that she did not tell Engin. He wasn’t ready for anyone to know about the problems with his health. He wasn’t even sure if he would tell anyone. He worried about telling his mother. 

It was easier to think about others than himself. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Where did he go from here? 

The day bled together until he got an appointment reminder from his phone, he stood in the middle of a meeting, apologizing but telling everyone the meeting had to be rescheduled for another time because he had another meeting to get to. 

“Serkan Bey!”

Serkan almost out the door but he stopped and answered in a tired sigh. “Yes, Leila?” 

“I don’t have any other meetings on your schedule,” she said in protest. “Did I make a mistake?”

“No,” Serkan shook his head. “This is a personal meeting. Nothing to do with work. I’ll be back shortly. Field my calls until I return.” 

He didn’t wait for her reply before exiting the building and heading for his car. 

He was almost to the hospital when his vision blurred, a car honked suddenly. He swerved, narrowly missing smashing into another car. 

He quickly pulled over, and pressed his forehead to the steering wheel, breathing deeply.

He shut his eyes tightly and felt a pounding at the back of his skull. It hurt but he breathed through it. 

He waited until his head stopped hurting, his vision was still a little blurred when he opened his eyes so he waited and waited until finally, it didn’t seem as bad.

It was almost 15 minutes later before he felt he was ready to pull on the road again. 

He arrived at his appointment late, his doctor was unbothered by this but wanted to start running a more thorough test immediately. 

Serkan realizing this could take longer than he was expecting called Leila and told her he would be gone for the rest of the day and to reschedule everything on his calendar for today for a later date.

Serkan spent what felt like days but was really only hours being poked and prodded, having test after test done. 

He was beyond annoyed with it all and was relieved when the doctor finally sat down to give him his results. However, his relief was short-lived. 

He had an aggressive tumor, pressing on his occipital lobe and without treatment, it would get larger. There were a few options available to him, surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. The placement and the size of the tumor made surgery tricky and there was a likelihood that complications would arise. Radiation and Chemo could shrink the tumor but again it could cause further complications. There was no guarantee the treatment would work. 

Serkan’s condition was advanced, his chances were lower than the doctor liked. He was in for a long hard battle. 

The doctor suggests Serkan go home, take a few days and then they would come up with a treatment plan best suited for him.

Serkan nodded. He knew he should feel something, fear, grief, sadness, anger, something but his emotions felt far away. Almost like he was out of his body and could no longer feel what he was supposed to feel. 

He walked out and headed down to the lobby, he was about to step out of the elevator when he changed his mind about leaving so soon. 

Instead, he walked up to the receptionist and asked. “Hi, I’m looking for the Oncology floor?”

“Fifth floor.” The reception told him with a sympathetic smile. 

Serkan got back on the elevator and took it to the fifth floor. 

He walked down the halls, peering inside the rooms, he wanted to look and see what the next few months had in store for him and he wished he hadn’t. 

Every room was filled with sickness, suffering, pain. Pale patients lying in beds with no energy, looking like they would rather be dead than alive. Some tossing and turning, crying out in pain, others throwing up in bens, spewing bile everywhere on the nurse in the room, their hospital gowns, and the floor. 

However, it wasn’t seeing all that that had him backing away a pit forming in his stomach, his heart growing heavy. It was seeing the loved ones in the room, looking hopeless to help, the grief and sadness in their eyes, their faces twisted in early grief.

How could he possibly put his mother through that? How could he make her watch him suffer for something that might not even work? He didn’t want his mother’s last memories of him to be of a sick man fighting what cannot be defeated. 

He turned walking away swiftly. He found his way to the surgical recovery floor. 

He looked into the rooms, he found one recovering from brain surgery. There was a young woman in the room, crying and clinging to his hand as if her life depended on it. He couldn’t hear what she was saying but the grief bled through her as she sobs at the man’s bedside. 

“Can I help you, sir?”

Serkan turned to see an older doctor standing a few feet behind him. “I..uh..no, I was visiting a friend but he’s not doing good. I just went for a walk-”

“Say no more,” the man said sympathetically. “It’s never easy seeing a friend or loved one like this. We do what we can to help but sometimes it’s not enough. Take this man for instance,” the doctor indicated to the man through the window Serkan was in front of. “He had a brain hemorrhage, we took him into surgery but the brain is a tricky thing, though we stopped the bleeding it was too late. He has no brain activity and now all we can do now is give his family the time to say goodbye before-” 

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” Serkan said abruptly. He couldn’t hear any more. He had to get away. The hospital walls with its sadness, illness, pain, grief, suffering was closing in on him. He needed to get out. He couldn’t breathe. 

Was this how Eda felt every time she had a panic attack? Or his mother when she tried to go outside before she overcame her fear? 

He left the hospital quickly, retreating to his car, he waited until his panic subsided before pulling back out on the road. 

He did not go back to work. He made the drive to his mother’s. She was outside in the garden with Seyfi. She looked to be in the middle of planning one of her galas for her foundation. 

She was going through folders, smiling as she said something to Seyfi who nodded jotting down what she said on a tablet. 

Seyfi looked up by chance and smiled. “Mr. Serkan.” 

His mother got to her feet, her smile wide. She moved forward to embrace him, he met her halfway. 

His mother pulled back with a smile. “This is a surprise. I thought you would be at work.” she frowned suddenly. “Is there something wrong? A crisis?” 

“No, nothing of the sort.” he lied, he did not want to take her good mood away. “I skipped lunch. I thought we could go out and eat at your favorite cafe by the riverfront.” 

Aydan smiled wide. “Really? Yes, I would like that very much.”

Seyfi went to get her things and half an hour later, Serkan, Aydan, and Seyfi were seated at her favorite cafe. 

Serkan took in his mother’s face as she enjoyed being out and experiencing everything first hand and just enjoying life, the smile that radiated from her because they were sharing something as simple as a meal lit up the whole cafe. 

Aydan had such a love and hunger to enjoy life to the fullest since recovering from her condition that Serkan knew he couldn’t take that happiness from her. 

He couldn’t tell her about his illness and he would not put her through the pain, the likelihood that he would survive even with treatment was low and he would not put her through the suffering of watching him die slowly in agony, fighting a war that could not be won. 

No, he would not get treatment. He would let things run their course, spend what time he had left with his loved ones and the people closest to him, enjoying what time he had left in this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I promise more Eda in the next chapter, along with Edser scenes.


	3. Chapter Two

Serkan waited a week before telling his mother about his tumor. It was one of the hardest things he ever did. He held his mother in his arms as she sobbed. It only made it harder when he told her he was not going to get treatment. 

Aydan raged at him about just giving up. She argued all the reasons he should fight but Serkan was not going to change his mind. 

He would not watch her at his bedside suffering because of him. He would not let her last memories of him be of someone she couldn’t even recognize anymore as her own son. 

Seyfi hadn’t taken it well. He was constantly worrying over him now. 

Serkan hadn’t spoken to his father in years and did not bother contacting him. 

Telling Engin, Piril, and Leila about his condition wasn’t easy but it was not like with his mother. 

Engin had pulled him into a hug, telling him he was there for him. Piril had apologized and she did her best to hide her emotions but Serkan did not miss the way her eyes had watered. Leila threw herself in his arms, tears streaming down her face, crying into his shoulder, expressing her sadness for him. 

Serkan pushed down his own emotions and for the next week, he took a step back from work. He spent his time with his mother and Sirius. He got together with Engin, he spent his time with his loved ones. 

He took Sirius for long walks, he went to museums and libraries, he spent his nights watching the stars. 

He spent his time living his life but if he was honest, it was just another day for him. 

One night he found himself walking through gardens in Istanbul with Sirius and he was struck hard with his memories of Eda. He wanted to see her, hear her voice, look into her eyes. He wanted to be surrounded by her presence, her light. The hope and joy that radiated from her. 

He wanted to be consumed by the love he had for her. Was it so wrong to want to spend the remaining time he had left with the other half of him? His soulmate?

The problem was she lived in Italy now and hadn’t spoken to him since she left, cutting him out of her life completely for keeping the truth from her. 

He was sure she hated him but he didn’t think he could leave this world in peace knowing she never forgave him. 

He could go to her, he could spend what time he had left convincing her to forgive him and if he was lucky he could spend his last days being with the person who he loved most in this world.

The love of his life. 

When Serkan got home he immediately started making plans, he would leave Engin and Piril in charge of Artlife, a CFO for the holding. 

He would ask Seyfi when his time ran out to leave Sirius in Eda’s care.

He asked his lawyer who just happened to be Ceren to draw up papers for his will and have them brought to him tomorrow. 

He pulled out his phone and dialed Leila, he knew it was late but he was sure she would answer it.

“ _Serkan Bey_?” Leila answered. “ _Is everything alright_?” 

“Leila, first thing tomorrow, call my pilot. Have him have the jet ready for take-off.” He instructed. 

“ _Where are you going_?” Leila asked, concerned. “ _Are you sure you should be traveling with your condition_?” 

“Leila, I’ll be fine, and I’m going to Italy,” Serkan answered. “I want no delays.” 

“ _Italy_?” Leila repeated. “ _But Serkan Bey_ -”

Serkan disconnected the call before he could hear Leila’s reply. 

* * *

The next morning he had Ceren meet him at his apartment. 

“Why are you writing a will?” Ceren questioned, pulling out the papers he requested. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine.” Serkan forced a smile. “I liked to be prepared for any possibility or problem that should arise. I am just taking precautions.” 

“What changes to your Will did you want to make?” Ceren asked. 

“In the event of my death, I want to leave everything to Eda Yildiz. My estates, my money, my shares, everything, it all goes to her.” Serkan said. 

Ceren looked at him in shock. “Are you serious?”

“I’m always serious,” Serkan replied, looking away from her. 

“Serkan, are you sure about this?” Ceren asked. 

Serkan understood her skepticism. He hadn’t spoken to her best friend since Eda left and not once has he asked Ceren about her. 

“I’m sure. She may have left and the way things ended for us was not good but it has never once changed my feelings for her. I want her to have everything she deserves.” Serkan said, speaking quietly. 

“Okay,” Ceren nodded. 

“Please don’t tell her about this.” Serkan requested. 

“Of course,” Ceren said. She would not go against a client’s wishes or privacy.

Ceren wanted to ask why he was doing this but it was not her place. 

Once their business was concluded Ceren started to gather everything back up into her file holder and placed it in her bag.   
  
“I will be leaving town. I’m not sure when I will return,” Serkan didn’t think he would be returning but Ceren didn’t need to know that. “If you have any business to conclude with me don’t hesitate to contact me.”

Ceren nodded, grabbing her purse, and stood to leave. “Understood, Serkan Bey.”

Serkan waited till she was gone before grabbing his jacket to meet his mother for breakfast. 

* * *

Aydan could not take her eyes off of her boy. He looked the picture of health; handsome, strong, young. You would never look at him and think he was sick. Yet somehow he was dying. 

Her heart hurt like a fist was wrapped around it. Squeezing. Her son was dying and there was nothing she could do to stop it and what was worse was that Serkan didn’t want to. He was accepting his fate. 

Didn’t he want to live? Didn’t he want to experience everything life had to offer him? Was he so broken and miserable that he wanted it all to end?

Did she fail to see how unhappy he was? Or was he just that good at hiding what he was feeling inside? 

Her eyes misted over as she watched him talk with Seyfi giving him instructions to look after his flowers while he was gone. 

He was leaving on a business trip after breakfast. She didn’t like it. 

Should he really be concerned with work at a time like this? 

She wished she could convince him to fight and get treatment but she knew he wouldn’t change his mind now that he had it made up. 

It didn’t stop her and Seyfi from looking into the best doctors, looking for miracle stories on the off chance that Serkan would decide that he did want to fight. 

Aydan discreetly wiped at her eyes to keep any tears from sliding down her cheek. 

She didn’t want Serkan to worry about her. She needed him to worry about himself right now. 

She forced a smile when Serkan called to her. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern lacing his tone. 

“Yes,” she lied. She returned to her meal, determined to enjoy every second with her son she could. 

She didn’t want to think about when these moments would be just a memory of the past. 

She didn’t want to think about losing her beautiful son. 

* * *

Serkan returned home long enough to get Sirius and his bags and then headed to the airport. 

He frowned at the sight of Leila, Engin, and Piril standing on the tarmac. 

“What are you all doing here?” 

“You didn’t really think we were going to let you go alone did you, brother?” Engin asked. 

“Before you ask, we have taken care of everything at the company,” Piril said. “It will be in good hands until Engin and I return.” 

“And I want to be there for you, Serkan Bey,” Leila said. “You can’t leave us behind.” 

Serkan wasn’t keen on them coming but he knew them well enough to know they wouldn’t be changing their minds about this. And he really couldn’t be bothered. They would be wasting precious time. 

“Then, let’s go, I don’t want to be delayed further.” He ascended the jet and Sirius followed behind him at his heels. 

Serkan got settled in his seat, shaking his head. He pulled out his phone from his jacket and opened his photos, swiping through his pictures of Eda. His finger moved to trace her face. 

He couldn’t wait to see her again. He knew he had his work cut out for him but just the thought of seeing how she changed, to have her stand in front of him filled him with hope. 

Hope that his last days would be happier just because she was a part of them. 

That’s all he wanted out of his last days. To be near the one person he cared about the most. 

* * *

Eda headed into work. She was feeling good about the day. She was meeting with a client who wanted his home updated. He was coming to the office to meet with her and Efe. 

The strange thing was the client insisted on not giving his name until they met in person. 

Eda decided not to think too much about it. Maybe, the new client was just a little different. 

Eda nodded at her co-workers as she passed by. She went to her desk, slipping off her jacket and setting her bag down. 

“Eda!”

Eda looked up as Nisa, Efe’s assistant came bounding up to her. “Good morning, Nisa.” 

“Right, Good morning, Eda.” Nisa nodded, quickly. “Efe Bey asked that you join him in his office as soon as you arrive. He’s meeting with the new client.”

“Why didn’t he meet with the client in the conference room?” Eda wondered as she walked out of the common area. Nisa hot on her heels. 

“The client wanted something more private. Oh my, Eda, he’s so handsome. So much more handsome than he is in magazines or the papers or tv.”

Eda laughed, starting up a flight of stairs. “So our client is famous, is he?” 

It wasn’t the first time they catered to a famous client but Nisa was acting like their client was a gift to be cherished. 

“Just wait till you meet him.” Nisa gushed. “You will understand how lucky we are to be working for him. I mean, especially when he can do it all himself.”

Eda’s brow furrowed. If their client was capable of updating his own home then why was he coming to them?

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts, and pushed open the door to Efe’s office. 

She was thrown by the angry look Efe was throwing at their client. 

Efe was seated behind his desk in his chair, a man was seated across from him, his back to her. 

“You are a real piece of work!” Efe snapped. 

“Efe?” Eda questioned by his tone he was not happy. “Is something wrong?”

Efe's eyes snapped to hers and there was something resembling apprehension. He opened his mouth as if to say something but then snapped it shut, confusing her further. 

Slowly, the client swiveled around in the chair, his green eyes so piercing with their intensity as they looked at her. The perfect amount of stubble covering his jaw, the auburn hair, his chiseled jaw, all of it as familiar to her as her own reflection in the mirror. 

She hadn’t seen him in almost two years and he looked exactly as she remembered. 

Eda’s heart stuttered in her chest. “Serkan?”

Serkan rose from his chair slowly.

Eda’s breath hitched as he took a step toward her. 

“Eda, it’s good to see you,” Serkan said, his lips lifting into a smile. 

Eda stared at him, his voice was still so warm when he spoke to her. She had almost forgotten the sound of it. 

She didn’t move, didn’t breathe. She could only stare at him, unable to believe Serkan was standing in front of her like they didn’t end things on a bad note. Like the past between them did not exist and they were just two old friends who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. 

“Eda,” Serkan reached out a hand to her, concerned by her lack of reaction. 

The second his fingers brushed over the skin of her wrist, Eda jerked back as if burned. 

“What the hell are you doing here, Serkan?” Eda glare, hardening herself to deal with him. 

“I’m here as a client. I will be staying in Italy for the next couple of months but the home I bought needs to be updated and I thought who better than you,” Serkan replied. 

“You can update your own home,” Eda said. “Are you telling me Serkan Bolat can build houses and buildings for others but not for himself?” 

“Maybe he wants a woman’s touch.” Serkan countered. 

Eda stepped closer to him, challenging. “Then ask Piril.” 

Serkan stepped closer to her, so close that their clothes brushed and they could feel each other’s breath as they spoke. “I don’t want Piril. I want you.” 

Efe who had been watching like he was watching a ping-pong match rolled his eyes. Of course, Serkan’s real goal was to see Eda and nothing more. 

“Serkan!” Eda hissed, her cheeks flushing. She hated the effect his words had on her. She could feel her blood getting hot. 

Serkan smiled innocently. “I want you to update my home. Also, there must be flowers.”

“You’re allergic.” Eda snapped. 

“I’ve built up a tolerance. Especially when they're beautiful.” Serkan said, looking at her intensely. 

Eda swallowed. She had a feeling they were no longer talking about flowers. 

Efe looked heavenward. He swore Serkan came here to drive him crazy and spend all his time flirting with Eda. 

“Flowers die when they are embraced by the cold,” Eda said. “I don’t believe a flower can survive being in your home.” 

“It can and it will, you must trust that it will be warm.” Serkan countered insistently. 

Efe didn’t think they were talking about flowers anymore and the sexual tension brewing between Eda and Serkan was starting to irritate him. “If you’re here for business can we please get down to it? I am trying to run a company here.” 

Eda smiled apologetically. “Of course. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting…”

“I understand, Eda,” Efe said, shooting daggers at Serkan. “I don’t blame you.” 

Serkan remained unfazed. “Yes, let’s get down to business.” He straightened his suit and retook his seat. “A number of things need to be done in my home.”

And as if on cue Leila came through the door, a clipboard in her hand. “It’s a bit old fashioned and we need to make it more modern. A new Roof. We want to add a patio and a garden.” Leila listed off. 

“Leila,” Eda said in surprise, she wasn’t expecting to see Serkan’s assistant. Usually, Leila did not travel with Serkan on business trips. 

“Hello, Eda,” Leila smiled, pushing up her glasses. “It’s so good to see you.” 

“As you can see there is lots to be done,” Serkan said, indicating to the list that Leila listed off. “I would love to go into greater details but I have more things to do. Perhaps we can discuss it further over dinner.” 

“No,” Eda shook her head. “We can discuss it now.” 

“Unfortunately that doesn’t work for me.” Serkan stood/ Eda instinctively stood as well, feeling better when she stood toe to toe with him but even then he still towered over her. She should have worn a better pair of heels today. 

“You can’t have everything you want, Serkan,” Eda said and watched as something passed in his eyes but it was gone as quickly as she saw it. Still, there was something so familiar to regret in his expression. 

“I’m afraid, I have to assist as Efe well knows when you have a client like myself come in, it is best to follow their wishes,” Serkan said with an air of confidence that Eda remembered well. 

Eda looked at Efe questioningly. 

“Having Serkan come to us is good for the company's image and for business,” Efe replied reluctantly. 

“Leila will make reservations at the best restaurant.” Serkan grinned. “I will pick you up. Like old times.” 

“No,” Eda glared. “Not like old times. I will meet you there.”

Serkan wanted to argue but thought he didn’t want to push his luck too far too soon. “Alright, I’ll need your number.” 

Eda glared down at the phone he extended to her. She snatched it from his hand and reluctantly put in her number, saving her contact information. She shoved the phone back at him, hitting him in the chest. “I see what you did there.” 

Serkan grunted, he swiped his thumb across the screen and called her number. A moment later Eda’s phone ranged. 

Eda shot him an annoyed look and ignored the call. 

“Wanted to make sure it worked,” Serkan told her, a taunting grin, tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

“It worked and you know what else works?” she smiled sweetly. 

Serkan knew that smile, he knew she was about to say something snarky but still, he replies. “What?” 

“The door. If you have other business that needs your attention then go, I have work to do. I don’t have time for any of your games, Serkan Bolat.” 

“Believe it or not, Eda, I’m not playing a game,” Serkan said, his expression more serious than before. “I’ll see you at dinner. It was good to see you again.”

Serkan offered her a faint smile. 

Eda paused, she couldn’t explain it but there was something sad showing in his eyes and it hit her harder than she wanted it to. Why should she care if he was upset?

His very presence was shaking up the life she built for herself. 

She told herself she would not watch him leave, instead, she walked out onto the terrace connected to Efe’s office. 

She ran a hand through her hair. Unable to believe Serkan was here after almost two years. 

Why now? What was he planning? What did he want?

She blew out a breath and looked down. 

She tilted her head slowly. Down below she saw Piril and Engin in mid-discussion. It looked intense. 

Piril was making a bunch of hand gestures as he talked and Engin seemed to be trying to calm her down. 

“Serkan should be resting!” she heard Piril exclaim faintly. 

Eda gripped the railing, straining to hear more. 

“You know he won’t listen to reason. If he did we wouldn’t be Italy. He would be getting the-” Engin's voice got lower and she couldn’t make out the rest of what he said. 

Irritation hit her. 

Engin and Piril both straightened when Serkan joined them with Leila fretting at his side. 

She watched as Engin placed a hand on his shoulder and Piril on his arm. 

Serkan shrugged them off with a look she was familiar with. Annoyance. 

Eda watched as they exchanged brief words.

She froze when Serkan looked up at her suddenly, she had the urge to look away but found she couldn’t. 

Engin opened the backseat door and gently urged Serkan inside, his hand on his friend's arm as if he wanted to make sure he didn’t lose his balance. 

Eda frowned watching Leila climb in next to Serkan and Engin got into the driver seat and Piril in the passenger seat. 

Her frown only deepened as they drove away.

Her suspicion grew. 

What was going on? Why did Piril and Engin accompany Serkan to Italy? Why were they hovering over him? What were Engin and Piril arguing about? 

Nothing about today made any sense. 

Eda shook her head, feeling more confused and rattled than she could remember feeling in a long time. 

Her thoughts drifted to Serkan. Perhaps she could get to the bottom of it when she met Serkan for their business dinner. 

Her eyes widened. She needed to shop. She needed a dress. 

It may be a business dinner but damn it she was going to look her best. 

Serkan would know what he was missing out on. He would know the mistake he made in breaking her trust. 

She would make sure of it. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any mistakes.

The first thing Eda did when she got off work was go shopping for a new dress. She wanted something to knock Serkan’s ass off but also a dress that meant something. 

She wanted him to be unable to focus on anything but her. 

Serkan said he was here for work but she was not stupid. He is here for another reason. 

Work was just an excuse and Eda refused to let him crawl beneath her skin again with false pretenses. 

They have been down that road before and she was not going to let it happen again.

She looked at herself in the floor-length mirror. She straightened her hair. It flowed down her back in long dark strands. She wore a light red eyeshadow, her lashes long and dark, her lips painted a vivid red. 

She looked at her curves encased in the red fabric. 

When she saw the flirty red mini dress in the store, she knew it was the one. 

The V-neckline accentuated her chest, the criss-cross spaghetti straps bared the smoothed skin of her shoulders and back. The ruched and wrapped bodice clung to her every curve like a second skin, the short hemline stopped mid-thigh leaving her long legs on display. 

She paired the dress with a pair of gold strappy heels.

Eda smiled at her reflection in approval. She looked amazing and if Serkan didn’t think so he was either blind or stupid. 

Or a completely unfeeling Robot which was entirely possible. He was, after all, Serkan Robot Bolat.

She grabbed her long trench coat, slipping it on over her shoulders, then her bag, and headed out the door. 

Serkan had better come compared because she was not going to make any of this easier on him. 

* * *

Serkan waited, his fingers tapping impatiently against the table cloth.

He looked at his phone contemplating if he should call her but something told him to look up. 

A feeling beneath his skin that made him aware of everything but most of all, aware of her. 

He looked up and she stood in the doorway dressed in a trench coat, her hair straightened to perfection and flowing down around her. 

She strode forward and he stood, straightening his jacket. 

“I was starting to think you stood me up,” Serkan confessed. 

“I said I would be here and I am,” Eda replied, trying to ignore how good he looked in his vest and suit. She swore no man could make a vest look sexy the way Serkan did. 

She hated that she was still so damn attracted to him and she hated him for still having that effect on her. 

Serkan fought the urge to walk around the table and wrap his arms around her. Instead, he gestured for her to have a seat. 

Eda slipped off her coat and Serkan nearly swallowed his tongue. 

God, she was so fucking gorgeous. A goddess standing before him in all her beauty. 

She was trying to kill him faster than the tumor pressing down on his brain. 

He forced the morbid thought of his impending death away. 

Eda slid into her seat loving Serkan’s reaction to her dress. 

“You look stunning.” Serkan complimented, re-taking his seat. 

“Serkan, keep your compliments to yourself, and let’s get down to business.” Eda signaled for the waiter. 

“I thought we could catch up before discussing the business details.” Serkan straightened his jacket. 

“You thought wrong. This is a business dinner, therefore the only thing we will be discussing is dinner.” Eda plastered a fake smile on her face as the waiter reached their table. 

“What can I get you?” The waiter inquired. 

“I will have the mozzarella chicken, and breadsticks,” Eda answered. 

“I’ll have the same, with added sauce for the breadsticks. And your best bottle of wine.” Serkan hadn’t bothered to look at the menu.

“Very well,” The waiter scribbled their order down and walked away. 

“Since when do you eat foods with so many spices?” Eda asked, surprised that he wanted the same as her. 

“I recently decided to experience all the things I denied myself,” Serkan answered. 

“I don’t believe it,” said Eda. “What happened to the man who was basically a hypochondriac? The man that checks his pulse whenever he so much as coughs?”

“He realized you had to live life minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Moment by moment.”

His words surprised Eda. “And what caused this change?”

Serkan looked at not saying anything. He wouldn’t tell her the reason for his change in perspective. She did not need to know. Ignorance was bliss. 

He didn’t want her to suffer from the knowledge and a part of her didn’t think he could survive if her resentment caused her to not care enough about him that he was dying. Or worse, if she cared enough to try and convince him to seek treatment. 

He couldn’t do that. He refused to put the few people in his life who cared about him through that kind of pain. 

“People change,” Serkan said finally. 

Eda felt her stomach twist at the look in his eye. It was sad in a way she had never seen before. Defeated almost. There was acceptance on his face that for the life of her she couldn’t understand. 

She felt like she was missing something. Maybe it had to do with what she overheard from Engin and Piril. Eda couldn’t be sure. She didn’t know. 

She hated not knowing and it frustrated her. 

“Whoever inspired the change, I’m thinking I should thank them. They have made you more tolerable.” Eda said and regretted the words immediately. They were harsh and she didn’t mean them but she was angry. However, the look of genuine hurt on Serkan’s face had her wanting to take the words back. 

“I’ll be sure to thank them for you,” Serkan wondered how did one go about thanking a tumor for aspiring them to change. 

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Eda knew when to apologize for her mistakes. “It was mean spirited. I didn’t come here to fight. It probably doesn’t sound that way but I didn’t. I came here to work.” 

“Do you enjoy working here in Italy?” Serkan asked. “With Efe?” 

“I do. Efe has been a great boss and an even better teacher. And Italy has been everything I dreamed it would be.” Eda answered, her anger slowly slipping away as she sat with Serkan. 

“Tell me about it,” Serkan requested. “Tell me everything you love about it.”

Eda found herself telling him everything as they enjoyed their food. How she spent her Sundays at the library in a quiet corner reading a book. How at night she would take walks along the park. She found an orphanage that she volunteered at on Saturdays, taking care of its garden. How she ate her favorite ice creams out on her terrace looking up at the stars. How wherever she had a bad day, she would walk by the waterfront, smell the sea, watch the waves. Some nights she liked to go to her favorite place. It was a cliffside, covered in flowers. She liked to sit beneath the tree and just watch the sea, especially when the sun was setting and the sky was full of pink dusky hues. 

“It’s unbelievably beautiful,” Eda said, her eyes shining with life and excitement. 

Serkan had been listening to her intently, feeling that warmth, that light surrounding him, her voice a soothing balm to his aching soul. 

“Yes, it is.” Serkan agreed, his vision consisting only of her. 

Eda smiled and watched as Serkan’s lips pulled into one, matching hers. 

And just like that, she realized what she was doing. 

She was having dinner with Serkan like it was a fucking date. They hadn’t even talked about the business aspects of this dinner. 

They talked about her and her life for the past hour. He had no right to know any of that. 

Her smile was gone as she glared at him. Serkan noticed the change immediately. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, brow furrowing. 

“I see what you’re doing and you had me. I forgot how persuasive you can be.” She shook her head. “We are here for work. So let’s discuss business.” 

“Eda-”

“No,” Eda cut him off abruptly. “Either we get to the business portion of this dinner or I get up and leave. Your choice, Serkan.” 

Serkan stared at her quietly before finally saying. “Okay. Okay.” 

“Tell me about your house." Eda all but ordered.

“The guest room has the best view. I want to make it my bedroom. I want a terrace with pillows and curtains, somewhere I can relax outside and enjoy the star. I want a garden filled with flowers and beauty. I want a woman’s touch in my home.” Serkan listed off, his eyes never leaving hers. 

Eda looked at him, her glare deepening. “You are going to model your house the way I wanted my own home?”

“Yes.” Serkan nodded. “You have good ideas.” 

“Really?” Eda asked doubtfully. 

“Yes, really. You were always so talented.” Serkan praised. 

Eda wanted to believe his compliments were sincere but it just wasn’t that simple with him. She didn’t know why he was really there and couldn’t bring herself to believe his sweet words were anything but reaching whatever endgame he had in mind. 

“Stop, just stop, Serkan,” Eda said, pushing her now empty plate away from her. 

“What?” Serkan's forehead creased in confusion. 

“Stop with the compliments, the sweet words, the charm, all of it,” Eda told him. 

“I was just being honest. I mean, look at where you are now. You’re a landscape architect and you did it all on your own. You finally got your degree and you wasted no time in making waves professionally. Your name has come up more than once whenever the topic of a good landscape architect in Italy was mentioned.” 

Eda's lips lifted into a smile, her cheeks flushing. She enjoyed her success. 

“You were always meant for big things, Eda. I hated that you left but I am so proud of how far you’ve come.” 

“You know why I left, the reasons haven’t changed.” Eda's smile was gone. “How long are you staying in Italy.” 

“Indefinitely,” Serkan answered. “I may never leave here.” 

“No, you can’t stay here. You have to finish your business here and then you leave. Go home, back to Istanbul.” Eda insisted. 

“I won’t leave, Eda,” Serkan said. “I can’t.” 

“Why? What’s so important that you dropped everything to come here?” Eda demanded.” 

“You,” Serkan said without hesitation. 

Eda’s heart thudded in her chest at his words and she hated it. “I have to go,” she said abruptly. 

“But we haven’t had dessert yet,” Serkan protested. 

“I don’t care. This night is over. We have discussed the business part and that is all this dinner was meant to be. Nothing more. I told you that and I meant it.” Eda stood up. “No amount of sweet words or compliments is going to change anything with us. There is nothing between us anymore and I don’t want there to be.” 

“Eda.” Serkan stood. “Please just give me one night. One night to show you that things have changed. I have changed and things can be different between us.” 

“No,” Eda pulled out money from her clutch, tossing it on the table, not allowing Serkan to pay for dinner. “Goodbye, Serkan.”

“Eda,” Serkan moved to follow her but stopped suddenly, feeling dizzy. 

Serkan eased back into his seat rubbing at his temple as his head started to hurt. He hated that the pain had become quite familiar. 

Serkan signaled for the waiter and ordered something stronger to drink and called himself a taxi. 

A few moments later, the waiter had returned his drink and took a big swig from the glass. 

This was not how he wanted the dinner to end. He had hoped after dinner to invite Eda for a walk with Sirius. He wanted to walk with her underneath the stars, have her smile at him. He wanted things to be like old times when he knew nothing of his father’s mistakes and he was just a man madly in love with a woman who had changed his world and became the center of it without him even realizing it. 

Serkan down the rest of his drink. 

This was going to be harder than he imagined it was going to be. 

* * *

Eda closed the door to her apartment behind her, she tossed her clutch on the end table and headed straight for her bedroom. She sat down at her vanity. Slipping off her shoes, she took off her jewelry before walking into her bathroom and shedding her dress. 

After a quick shower, she pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a zipped up hoodie. 

She heard the faint noise of the phone and retrieved it from her clutch. It was a text from Efe asking about the business dinner she had with Serkan. 

She texted him back that she got the details that Serkan wanted and would write it into a client dossier and would have it on his desk by morning. 

She walked out onto her terrace, her phone clutched in her hand. 

She wanted to know why Serkan was here but it was clear he was not going to tell her why that was. 

Maybe Ceren would know. If he was really here for business she should know. She was his lawyer.

Eda debated if she should put her friend in the middle of the issues between her and Serkan but ultimately her need to know won out. 

She dialed Ceren and pressed her phone to her ear. Her friend answered on the third ring. 

“ _ Eda, _ ” 

Eda could hear the smile in her friend’s voice. 

“Ceren, hi. I’m sorry if it's late.” Eda apologized, realizing it was almost midnight in Istanbul.

“ _ No, it’s fine. How are you _ ?” Ceren asked. 

“Good, Good.” Eda bit her lip. 

“ _ Eda, _ ” Ceren said. 

“Not so good. Serkan is here.” Eda confessed. 

“ _ At your house _ ?” Ceren asked, surprised. 

“No,” Eda shook her head even though Ceren couldn’t see it. “In Italy.”

“ _ Oh. Why is he there _ ?” Ceren inquired. 

“That’s what I was going to ask you? He says he's here for business but if that were true you would know, wouldn't you? You're his lawyer.” 

“ _ Eda, I can’t discuss Serkan’s business ventures with you _ ,” Ceren told her. 

“I know,” Eda sighed. “I just, something is telling me he’s not here for business. He’s using it as an excuse.” 

“ _ An excuse for what _ ?” Ceren asked. “ _ To get close to you _ ?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Eda said.

“ _ Could it be he’s still in love with you _ ?” Ceren suggested. 

“No. It’s been years, Ceren.” Eda argued. 

“ _ So does that mean because of how long it’s been you no longer feel anything for him _ ?” Ceren questioned. 

“No,” Eda said. “I mean, I feel anger and... And..”

“ _ Eda, it’s okay if you still feel something for him. You were in love _ .” Ceren said. 

“This isn’t about what I may or may not feel for Serkan,” Eda said, she didn’t want to talk about her feelings. 

“ _ Then what is this about _ ?” Ceren asked. 

“I think there’s something more going on here. He didn’t come alone. Piril, Engin, and Leila are with him. Something else is going on here.” Eda said. 

Ceren was quiet for a long time that made Eda think maybe she had dropped the call. 

“Ceren?”

“ _ Eda, I don’t think you’re wrong. Serkan has been making some changes lately _ .” Ceren said. 

“Changes?” Eda repeated. “What kind of changes?” 

“ _ I can’t tell you. Serkan is my client and as my client, I cannot break his confidence _ .” Ceren told her, 

“What can you tell me?” Eda asked. 

_ “I feel there is something more going on with Serkan. I think it’s serious more than either of us could know. Eda, I’ve gotten to know Serkan over the years that you’ve been in Italy. He’s a good person at heart and I don’t think he’s ever moved on from you so I have to ask you something. _ ” 

“What is it?” Eda asked, surprised by Ceren’s words. 

“ _ Be kind to him, Eda. I feel you are right and Serkan is there for a reason and it’s not business. Let the past go, Eda, and give him a chance. Maybe then you can find out the actual reason he is there _ .” 

“Yeah, Okay,” Eda said her goodbyes to Ceren and ended the call. 

Eda stared out at the city lights decorating the night sky pondering over Ceren's words. 

After a moment of contemplation, she swipes her thumb across her phone screen and found Serkan’s number. 

Her finger hovered over the call button with indecision. 

* * *

When Serkan got back to the large condo he had bought for himself until his house was ready, he avoided calls from everyone wanting to be left alone. He moved out to his bedroom terrace with a bottle of alcohol and a shot glass. He took a seat on the lounge chair, pouring himself a shot. 

Sirius came to him, sitting at his feet, and rested the top of his head on his knee. 

Serkan ran his hand through Sirius's scruff, itching behind his ears. 

Since he had gotten sick, it was rare for Sirius to leave his side when he was home. 

Eda had looked so beautiful tonight. Her mere presence lit up his world. It didn’t matter that she was angry with him, just hearing her voice, looking into her eyes, being around her again, it was like being able to breathe again. 

It was clear she was not going to make any of this easy on him but again, he didn’t care. She was worth the effort. 

She was worth everything. 

And if he was going to die then he wanted to be surrounded by her. 

He lifted a hand to rub at his pounding head just as his phone ranged. 

He retrieved his phone from his pocket and a picture of Eda flashed across his screen. 

He was stunned for a moment that she was calling him, especially after the way she had walked away from him at dinner. 

He stared so long he realized any second now the call would go to voicemail. He quickly swiped the answer button and pressed his cell to his ear. 

Heart pounding hard in his chest he held his breath.

Waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is short but it's only the prologue and a look at what's to come.


End file.
